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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

"We Have to Go Together"

As you know, in my last post, I whined a lot and somehow managed to take out my winter blahs on the two Senators from Kentucky. At the time, I anticipated Mitch McConnell's appearance on Meet the Press would be a sharply critical, obstructionist attack on everything President Obama laid out in his January 25th State of the Union address...

However, Egypt changed everything. I can only assume McConnell's booking was cut short so that David Gregory could talk with Secretary of State Hilary Clinton about the continued unrest in Egypt -- and rightly so.

Still, McConnell made an appearance* and even moved on from talk of Egypt to domestic issues. True, he did not once utter the words "Kentucky" or "Kentuckians," but he did make one compelling statement that I can't seem to forget: "We have to go together."

He said this not once, but twice: "We have to go together."

McConnell was responding to the question of entitlement reform, which folks all across the political spectrum agree is an essential component of cutting back on the U.S. budget deficit.  (According to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, entitlement programs like Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid comprised more than 40% of the Federal Budget in 2010. The Department of Defense adds another 20%. These programs are often seen as untouchable, but it is becoming more and more clear that we will not be able to bring down the deficit if 60% of the Budget is untouchable and, therefore, cannot be cut.**)

Republicans promised to cut spending in the 2010 Midterms. The problem is, now that a majority of them have been seated in the House, they are much more cautious about tightening the federal government's belt.  You see, spending cuts are not so popular with constituents who don't want their benefits slashed, making such legislation a risky move for representatives who want to get re-elected in 2012.

And it's not just Republicans; the hesitancy to enact unpopular, but necessary reform exists for Democrats as well. No one wants to be attacked as the politician who stole from senior citizens...especially in a 30-second TV spot during the next election cycle. 

And yet, the fact remains: We cannot afford to continue down this path. 

On Sunday David Gregory alluded to the political maneuvering that ensues. Who will present their plan for entitlement reform first: Republicans or Democrats? In typical Washington style, it is projected that whichever side goes first will have the disadvantage of being cast by the other side as the party who robbed the American people of benefits -- even though both parties believe that benefits must be cut to sustain programs like Social Security. The hypocrisy and double-dealing turns my stomach!

The solution to this strategic dilemma? As McConnell wisely asserted: "We have to go together."

Only time will tell if my Senator (or anyone else in Washington) will stick to all the good faith that's been percolating about Capitol Hill in the wake of the Tucson Massacre...but here's one Kentuckian, one hopeful citizen who would like to see Congress and the White House "go together" on entitlement reform and many of the other big issues we face.

So, enough of the political maneuvering, Congress. Enough strategic power plays. We did not elect you to acquire power for yourselves or your party. We elected you to solve problems. So do it! Go together. Get in a room, figure it out, and then tell us all about your plan -- your bipartisan plan to make Social Security sustainable for another generation.

Now...is that too much to ask?

Jaelithe, the Librarian @ Home, (who has become a little more politicky than she ever intended to be)

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*Click here to read a transcript of the January 30, 2011 broadcast of Meet the Press

**What's a Librarian to do? After about 30 minutes of plowing through the 2010 Federal Budget, I gave up on my quest for a primary source of this data and succumbed to the CBPP's data. The CBPP describes itself as "producing materials that are balanced (and) authoritative" and even have a shout out from Ezra Klein on their webpage. So...I am using this source and moving on. If I were your friendly neighborhood reference librarian, being paid by the hour and benefiting from ridiculously low premiums on health insurance, then believe me, I wouldn't give up so easily! However, this SAHM has potatoes to peel and laundry to fold...

Friday, January 28, 2011

Lost in Space

Last week I had a long conversation with an old friend, during which I confessed that I've been a little out of touch these days.

"I'm not sure where I've been, lately.  Just lost. Mentally lost in space."

I've been bored. Restless. Snowed in. Tired. And did I mention...bored?

"You've just been so...itchy," the Husband said a couple weeks ago. Which is quite an interesting word choice because we celebrated our seven-year anniversary last August. Could this be the Seven-Year Itch? I'm pretty certain my restlessness doesn't have anything to do with my marriage.

Before I track down a DVD of the Marilyn Monroe film for research...maybe I should revisit Betty Friedan's classic, The Feminine Mystic, in which she discusses the "problem without a name," a sense of dissatisfaction experienced by American housewives in the 1960s.

Is my current state at all similar to that of housewives 50 years ago? Educated women spending their days at home with dirty dishes, dirty diapers, and dirty laundry? Isn't it different for us now, after the Second Feminist Wave, now that Dads are more involved, now that we have the Internet, Facebook, and cable TV?

Anytime I mention my boredom to another at-home mom, I am invited to another play-date. And while I'm so grateful for their generosity, for their offering of time and company (really I am), I think the last thing I need is another play-date.

But what do I need? That is what I don't know.

So what do you think? Is this just the winter blues? Is it time for me to go back to work? Or, is it time for another baby?  Maybe I should just blog more, and whine less.

Truth be told, I am bummed about a few things: Keith Olbermann's split from MSNBC last week was a bit disconcerting, especially considering the fact that I was not tuned in last Friday night and didn't even get a chance to witness the live goodbye. I have been a Countdown viewer for nearly three years, and now, with little warning, it airs no more.

While I'm on the topic of politics, I've got to admit I continue to be bummed that during this time when our nation faces such huge problems, when so much is at stake...I live in a state where both Senators seem more interested in the agenda of their political parties (GOP and TEA) than the welfare of Kentuckians. Seriously, I never hear either of them say anything to the national media about what they intend to do for Kentucky. It's all "Tea Party" this and "ruin Obama" that. McConnell is scheduled for Meet the Press this Sunday, and I intend to tune in and see if he has anything -- anything at all -- to say about Kentucky, or if it'll be more of his grumpy talk about ensuring that Obama doesn't get a second term.

Like any good wife, I can also "blame" the Husband for bumming me out. I've got two beefs with him right now. First, a few weeks before Christmas, anticipating the flood of new toys, the Husband turned our dining room into a playroom. It is magic, pure magic, to have the Bear gated in there, flipping through her books while I'm working nearby. But it is also devastating (just a little), because my dining room is now a friggin' playroom!!! It's as if we have admitted defeat. We have surrendered, and the toys won...the kid stuff won!

My second beef with the Husband is that he put us on a money diet. It is just what we need after the gluttony of the holidays; it is just what we need to pay for college (ours first, then the Bear's) and reach some other financial goals. Generally speaking, I enjoy a little belt-tightening and penny-pinching, and I am well aware that people all around me are struggling financially in ways that we have never struggled. But when your personal allowance is slashed by 66%...you tend to feel a bit devastated (just a little). And so, if teasing the Husband, (say, calling him the Rand Paul of the household) helps ease that devastation....Well, it does.

All in all, I love my life. I love, love, love the Husband and I love, love, love the Bear. My gut just keeps filling up with a mix of euphoria and dread, with this sense that there is so much to do and say...and yet, I'm not acting on it because I'm not sure what it is I am supposed to do or say...

Any ideas?

Jaelithe

Friday, December 31, 2010

More X, Less Y: My Hopes for 2011

Hello again, readers. I hope you enjoyed the Holidays and find yourself ready for a fresh start!

As the clock ticks 2010 into history, I have been reflecting on the past and anticipating the clean slate of January 1.

For my family, 2010 was filled with several little milestones: I started this blog and started getting together every month or so with a group of Moms in my neighborhood, both of which have been really fulfilling. We took our first family vacation. The Bear started walking and talking. The Bear started preschool. The Husband finally got a surround sound system. (Two long years after we finished our basement!) The Doodles continued her pursuits of brief, maniacal bark-fests in the backyard followed by long, seemingly endless naps.

2010 also brought two precious little babies into our lives, and I would be remiss to neglect mentioning both. In March, the daughter of my best friend from childhood was born. We have not met her yet (as she lives states away) but hope that 2011 will give us the opportunity to hold her in our arms and hear her precious laugh.

In September we welcomed our nephew and godson. He is the sweetest little baby, and my sister-in-law makes life with a toddler and a newborn look so effortless that the Husband and I just might reconsider all our "one and done" talk.

This week I have been thinking a lot about the upcoming year and how I might reinvent myself in 2011. I do this every year and find it a productive exercise -- even if few of my resolutions ever stick past Valentine's Day! I love a lot about my life, but I also enjoy the hope of new possibilities.

This week I kept thinking of the phrase "More Joy, Less Shame" which is the title of an Ani DiFranco EP that features several remixes of her song "Joyful Girl." I really like how this phrase states an intention in a way that is specific, but not so specific and far-reaching that accomplishing it seems impossible.

And so...as I resolve to improve myself in the new year, I find myself thinking of resolutions that mirror DiFranco's phrasing. Here they are:

More giving, less taking


More fruits and vegetables, less empty carbs


More exercise, less excuses not to exercise


More weekends attending church, less excuses to stay home


More praying, less worrying


More gratefulness, less wanting what I don't have


More moments in the moment with my family, less moments captivated by something stupid on the television


More reading, less wishing I had more time to read


More calls and emails to friends, less "Oh my gosh, I have been meaning to call you, but I have been so busy!"


More action, less talk

Please share your hopes for 2011. What do you want more of? What do you want less of?

Happy new year!

Jaelithe

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

November in Review, Part I: SICKNESS, CHICKEN, AND PIE

Rabbit, rabbit! Today is December 1!

Wait, wasn't it just November 1?

Seriously, um...what??? For me much of the last 30 days has been a manic blur...All apologies to my followers who've missed reading my posts.  (Yes, to the one or two of you who noticed my silence, I'm so sorry! And by the way, it was so nice of you to notice!)

Obviously, I overdramatize, but in all seriousness, this budding blogger is supposed to be posting at least once a week (preferably twice). That is my commitment to myself...something that is necessary to build my audience. But in November...I blew it!

For the most part, November 2010 was a month filled with sickness (of the common cold variety) and my own crazy pursuits (which did not include blogging).

Yes, blogging regularly became a distant goal in the face of a sick Bear, who got me sick, and then the Husband...and then me again! Last week, during Cold #2  I slept three nights on the pull-out couch in the basement just so the Husband could sleep peacefully while I tossed and turned amidst hacking  coughs and repeated nose-blowing misery. Thankfully, the Doodles was there, a warm ball of snoring fur, who was so pleased to have a napping companion that she did not seem to mind all the common cold commotion.

I think -- and I say this ever fearful of the possibility that I could jinx us all -- but I think we are all better now. And hopefully, we will stay healthy into the new year.

Common cold be damned, because, as I reflect on November, I realize that I did a lot -- despite the cold.  The Husband and I celebrated our "anniversary" (more on that later) and then the Husband's "double three" birthday. Also, in between Cold #1 and Cold #2 this home cook threw her own little "Chicken Fest" which entailed roasting a whole chicken, preparing homemade chicken stock, and using leftover chicken to make other meals. (And yes, I intend to post on Chicken Fest in the near future!)

I suppose I cannot mention Chicken Fest without also telling this funny (albeit embarrassing) story: Chicken Fest really only happened because I was at Whole Foods early one Monday hoping to pick up a roaster chicken ($5.99 special on Mondays). Little did I know, the chickens don't come out of the oven until 10:30. Who knew? Not wanting to wait, I decided to roast a chicken myself. Fortuitously, I had the iPad with me so I looked up the Barefoot Contessa's roasted chicken recipe, picked up the ingredients and got to work. Little did I know, by the time Whole Food's chickens were out of the oven, I was back at the store, telling the customer service desk: "Yes, I'm the idiot who left her iPad in a shopping cart in the parking lot..."

And then there was "Pie Fest"! I made an apple pie for the Husband's birthday (one of his favorites) and the week of Thanksgiving I made three pumpkin pies, one squash pie, and one sorghum pecan pie. That's six pies for those of you keeping track at home. And I have one more crust in the freezer! Pie Fest started sometime after Cold #1 but continued into Cold #2. Consequently, Pie Fest involved a lot of OCD-style hand washing. I also baked with a drywall mask over my mouth and nose (until the Vick's Vapor Rub I'd applied on my upper lip started burning my eyes). On Thanksgiving Day I told the fam that although I'd practiced the best ever kitchen hygiene, they wouldn't hurt my feelings a bit if they opted to pass on the pies. (After all, that would just leave more pie for me!)

I suppose it's a good thing I started a fitness program just a few weeks before Thanksgiving. I'm not sure exactly what motivated me to do so -- the friend who suspected (incorrectly) that I was pregnant, or perhaps my own sense that I'd be eating a lot of pie in the near future. I was standing in line at the supermarket when I saw one of those Prevention booklets with this headline: "Walk Off 10 Pounds in Four Weeks." On impulse I bought it, knowing that I would have to stick to it for at least a month (or else face ridicule from the Husband for blowing $4 on an impulse buy that was later tossed into the recycle bin).

Right now I'm in week three of the plan. Truth be told, Cold #1 and Cold #2, combined with the flurry of Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday have prevented me from sticking to the plan as faithfully as I'd hoped. I'm not even sure I've lost a single pound, but at this point I don't really care because I've had so much more energy during these last three weeks that I actually look forward to my nightly date with the treadmill. Also, on Black Friday I bought a pair of Ann Taylor Loft cords in a size I hadn't purchased since before becoming pregnant with the Bear. So...considering the volume of pie crust I've consumed in the last week (both raw and cooked), even though the number on the scale hasn't changed all that much, this walking program is looking like a success...

Geez, it sure is getting late! And I haven't even gotten into all my crazy pursuits. I will definitely have to get to all that later.

To be continued,

Jaelithe

Monday, November 1, 2010

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like...Planning!

Rabbit, rabbit! Today is November 1. This morning I dropped The Bear off at nursery school and headed over to Target to check out the Halloween clearance and pick up a few necessary items (i.e. dishwasher detergent -- Target has the best price on my brand -- and a storage bin for all those adorable 12 to 18-month summer clothes that are on their way to my in-laws' attic. Thanks again for the storage space, dear parents of The Husband!)

As usual, The Doodles hates her costume.
Although I struggled with my desire for an outdoor light-up pumpkin, ultimately, I was able to resist all of Target's half-price Halloween decor -- even the dog costumes. (But wouldn't The Doodles just love to be a banana split next year...? No, she wouldn't. No, no, no!)

I'm not sure which it was: the Halloween clearance or the small army of Target employees unpacking holiday ornaments, but I started thinking about everything I need to do to prepare for the upcoming Holiday blitz, which is when I decided to share my checklist with you. After all, to plan to plan is to plan to succeed, right? Here's my first draft:


Scheduling: talk to family about dates and finalize. Get it all on the calendar! (This includes Thanksgiving, decorating the tree, and any group shopping days). Invite family to any special events now, so that they can plan, too. (For us, this includes Thanksgiving Mass and The Bear's Preschool Christmas program).


Gifting: Plan gift budget, start asking/brainstorming for gift ideas. Look for sales/coupons and begin shopping! (Later: start wrapping! Some people wrap as they go, but I prefer to pop White Christmas in the DVD player and have a wrapping marathon a little later in the season).


Housework: Clear the clutter and banish any dust bunnies...Now! Clean out closets, drawers, cabinets, etc. (This will help you keep a clear head and make space for gifts, guests, etc.) Also, do you need/want to purchase any decor for your home? If so, add items to your shopping list (seeking spousal approval first, if needed...ha, ha!) and then promise to stick to your list. (This last bit keeps me from losing my mind at Target and buying a bunch of junk I don't need!)


Clothes: Determine what you (and your spouse and children) will wear to all these holiday events/gatherings. Borrow and/or shop for what you don't already have. Make sure clothing is clean and pressed. Don't forget accessories.


Greetings: Update address book. Print mailing labels. Plan Christmas card. (For us this involves picking a setting, having The Husband take a picture of The Bear, and then having me design and order the card online at Walgreens.com.) Order stamps online.


Food:  Consult schedule to determine what you need to bring where and when. Look online and through holiday recipe books to determine what you will bring where and when. Make shopping lists (divided into pantry and perishable ingredients). Be on the lookout for sales/coupons so that you might save money on your ingredients. Around December 1, purchase the pantry ingredients and store. (Also, if possible mix together any dry ingredients in advance. You can label them and store in pyrex bowls). In the meantime, since you will be busy, stock the freezer with easy weeknight meals and, while you're at it, go ahead and make some pie crusts to freeze. (I hope to elaborate on this later!)

Geez, typing this out made me tired! That's all I've got so far, but I intend to add anything else I find myself contemplating (or diving into without contemplating!).

Please comment and share what you are doing to get ready for the holidays!

L@H



P.S. I am going to store my plan in a word processing document, so that I can easily revise it over the next several weeks. And then, next November 1, I will be able to pull it out without reinventing the wheel!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Me, Sarah Palin, and The Universe

I’d jump at the chance to sit down and have a beer with Sarah Palin, but that doesn’t mean I like her politics. Without outlining my political persuasions (which would probably take some research on my part!) let me just say I’m not a fan. I am not and have never been a fan of Sarah Palin.
And yet, ever since she became a household name, I have this recurring internal conflict. It’s like the Universe keeps tapping me on the shoulder, and every time I turn around some vestige of Palin is there. I’m not sure why this keeps happening. Maybe it’s the Universe’s way of reminding me that in this era of such intense political polarization, we are all more alike than I realize. 
Yes, Palin and I could probably sit down and talk about motherhood, fashion eyewear, and the media’s super lousy representations of women without getting into all that other stuff...But then, all that other stuff is what creates so much conflict for me when the Universe starts up with its Palin nudgings...
It started at a 2008 family Christmas party, when one of the Husband’s  younger cousins said what I had been bracing myself for, for more than three months. After election day, I had thought I was out of the woods. But then, on that Saturday in December, I heard it:
“Hey, you look like the Governor of Alaska.”
I was 7 months pregnant with the Bear and had just failed my first gestational diabetes test, which meant, according to the docs, no added sugar until delivery day. (Which meant, according to me, no holiday sweets...are you kidding? I will admit that I ate a small brownie and a single piece of fudge, but this, in the face of my in-laws' dessert buffet, was a Christmas miracle!)
Sugar-free me was no party (just ask the Husband), but I managed to keep my cool with the kids, who began calling things like Hey Sarah Palin! every time I was near.
Just to be clear, I don’t think I look like Sarah Palin. But I’m a brunette who wears glasses somewhat similar in style to hers, and at the time I was following the “don’t cut your hair while pregnant” rule (which I read about in the Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy) so my hair, which is usually short, was getting pretty long.  
All things considered, I think the glasses were my biggest problem. For the record, I purchased my silver rimmed Vogue eyeglasses in the Fall of 2007, long before Sarah Palin was on the radar of most people in the Lower 48. My chief concern, up until the Christmas party, was that someone would take a look at my glasses and think I was trying to imitate Governor Palin. (I wasn’t).  
The next spring I was at a family gathering when my grandmother cut me off mid-sentence with this remark: “You know who you look like, don’t you?”
I shrugged, thinking she would mention a family member as we were in a room filled with relatives.
“The Governor of Alaska,” she announced proudly.
If there was a smile on my face, it faded. “Really?” 
“She’s a very smart lady.” my grandmother replied quickly,  as if she sensed my discomfort with the comparison. “Very smart.”
“Really?”
I’d like to assert right now that I love my grandmother dearly, and I don’t have any particular beef with Sarah Palin, but I’m not sure she’s a very smart lady. I’m glad she’s not the Vice President (because, as suggested above, I disagree with a lot of her political positions and tactics). I’m also not impressed with her early resignation as Governor, but I don’t live in Alaska, so she was never my Governor to begin with. 
(And then again, maybe she is very smart. ABC News reported that she earned an estimated $12 million in the nine months following her resignation).
Look, I’m not writing this to call Palin an idiot. (After all, isn’t that Keith Olberman’s schtick?) It’s just disappointing that this history-making female politician (first female on the Republican presidential ticket, and all...), lacks the intellectual chops. I know this is why so many people like her. We can relate to her, they say. She’s one of us.
I guess I just don’t want “one of us” in the Whitehouse running the country, you know? I’d prefer to have someone who was better educated and in possession of sharper critical thinking skills than most of “us.”
And so, I find myself a little troubled by the idea that someone (anyone) might take one look at me, notice some physical similarities with Palin, and then make the leap and assume that these physical similarities translate to political similarities...Or (heaven forbid) assume that my likeness with Palin is a consequence of efforts on my part to resemble her.
A few months after this exchange with my grandmother, The Husband and I started watching Thirty Rock on DVD and by the end of the first season, he confessed “I think I might have a little crush on Liz Lemon.” 
So okay...maybe being compared to Palin is not all bad, especially when it aligns me with the likes of Tina Fey. 
(Just for the record, The Husband claims he never said he had a crush on Liz Lemon or Tina Fey...but I swear, he totally did! Although...at the time I was a bit sleep deprived, nursing my sweet young baby who refused to sleep through the night, so I guess you’ll have to decide who you want to believe...)




Several weekends ago, The Bear spent the night with my parents and a pesky sore throat sent The Husband off to the doctor, leaving me with the opportunity to pull up the Sarah Palin cover article from October’s Vanity Fair, curl up with my iPad and a cup of coffee, and read quietly while the sun streamed into our living room.


This article, by Michael Joseph Gross, has been quite controversial since it hit the newsstands in early September. Even the Huffington Post called it “somewhat questionably sourced.” Still, I tend to have faith in the integrity of journalists. (Perhaps as a result of my B.A. in journalism?) I read Gross’s response to criticism of his article and also caught an interview with him on Morning Joe, during which he made the case for the integrity and accuracy of his reporting. And while I have no intention of defending Gross or proclaiming the veracity of his work (after all, I’ve never met him or any of his sources), I can say that I found both his response and his spot on Morning Joe highly plausible and compelling.

When I finished the Vanity Fair article, despite the fact that I am not at all a Palin fan, I felt something I wasn’t expecting to feel: sad. One paragraph in particular really tugged at me:


After starting her new career as a national figure, Palin disengaged from the community. When in Wasilla, she rarely leaves the house. At her favorite coffee shop, Mocha Moose, Palin has been seen only once in the past three months. On those occasions when she goes to Church on the Rock, she usually arrives late, leaves early, and sits in the back. For runs to Target, she waits until it’s almost closing time...Her Wasilla social circle has narrowed practically to nothing.


Despite my dislike of Palin the politician and regardless of my discomfort with being told I look like her, there is something almost heartbreaking about a woman thrust into the national spotlight without her community behind her all the way. A mass of Birthers, Deathers, and Tea Partiers has jumped aboard, but many of those nearest and dearest friends from her formative years are no longer on the bandwagon. It’s just a little wrenching...don’t you think?




Beside our house runs an alley that remains incomplete since our homes were built in 2006. Thanks to some gravel, it is passable, but it is not complete (if you’re reading this City of Louisville, step on it! We’ve been calling and emailing for years!). Last summer a mechanic opened shop in a garage that faces the alley, and he is a super nice guy who does quality work at a fair price.


But seriously, out of all the alleys and all the mechanics in all the cities and towns on this planet, it turns out that the guy in my alley is from...Wasilla, Alaska. 


Small world, huh? So someone who grew up in Wasilla and knows the Palins and considers them a “very nice family,” is now oh so close to my pin on Google Maps. How about that?


I’m not sure the significance of this. There is none, really. Still, I cannot help but think that the Universe is trying to tell me something.


Jaelithe, the Librarian @ Home

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Review: The Duchess

This weekend the Husband and I ate way too much pumpkin cheesecake, watched way too many episodes of The Office Season 6 (Confession: I teared up a bit when Jim and Pam got married), and dreamed way too much about owning lakefront property. We took a short trip to Kentucky’s Taylorsville Lake where we hiked, taking turns carrying The Bear on our shoulders while our feet crunched leaves underfoot. It was the perfect fall activity on a perfect fall day.
Nevertheless, as much as I enjoyed time outside with my two favorite people, occasionally I would feel a knot tighten in my chest. Ugh, why do I have such a sick feeling? I would wonder. Is this the Sunday Blues?
No, I soon realized, not the Sunday Blues, but a consequence of remembering the movie I’d watched the evening before: The Duchess, starring Keira Knightley and Ralph Fiennes.

The Duchess
In my scorebook, the first measure of a movie’s quality is whether or not I think about it a lot the next day. And while I consider The Duchess a good movie, I’m not sure whether I was thinking about it during our hike or whether my body was simply recalling the physiological reaction I had to the film. 
In short, this movie is painful to watch. Despite skilled actors and exquisite costumes, viewing it was pure agony -- largely because of the 18th Century, aristocratic, English society that forced Georgiana, the Duchess of Devonshire, to remain in a loveless marriage. Her husband, the Duke of Devonshire, blames her for being unable to produce a son. (Creep! As if this were something she could control!) and screws just about anything that walks. In one scene he takes Georgiana to bed just after she has watched a naked woman flee his room. (For heaven’s sake, man, change the sheets and take a shower before bringing your wife to your already sex-soiled bed!) One of the most “painful to watch” scenes of the film is when the Duke rapes Georgiana. As she screams, servants move about in earshot, helpless to aid their mistress.

Yes, the double standards of this time are physically sickening to this modern woman. Georgiana was forced to accept her husband’s lover into their household but forbidden to continue a relationship with her true love, Charles Grey (or else, the Duke threatened, she would never see her children again). Early in the film, Georgina is presented with the Duke’s illegitimate daughter and chooses to raise the child as her own. In contrast, years later he forces her to give up a child she conceived with Grey.
Georgiana: Duchess of DevonshireThis film is based on the nonfiction book, Georgiana: Duchess of Devonshire by Oxford scholar Amanda Foreman, and because the film has left me hungry for more details about Georgiana’s life, I am certainly adding the book to my wish list. 
I wanted to watch this film largely because of my interest in aristocratic society during 18th and 19th Century England. Granted, this interest is not based on fact but fiction. I have been known at times to enjoy reading historical romance novels, specifically those written by Judith McNaught.  These guilty pleasures are most often set in the decades after Georgiana’s death, but involve characters who, like Georgiana, are members of England’s high society. Heroines often live a glamorous (albeit frivolous) life filled with fashion and parties, but very often find themselves hugely limited by the dictates of society -- much like Georgiana. 
But Georgina’s reality diverges quite sharply from these fantasy novels. For Georgiana there is no happy ending (at least not in the film), because she is unable to change her circumstances. Georgiana was imprisoned by her cruel, seemingly heartless husband, unlike the romance novel heroine, who might be imprisoned by social dictates, but is essentially set free by a kind, generous, powerful husband who (by the novel’s conclusion) is so in love with her that he will do anything to please her. 
I remember watching trailers of The Duchess when I still worked in collection development. (Librarians stay abreast of any upcoming book to film releases and, budget permitting, ensure there are plenty of copies when library patrons start asking for the book...Yet another reason why librarians are awesome!) Last week, when I added The Duchess to our Netflix instant queue, I recalled that the story did not end happily, but I presumed it was a love story, focusing on the relationship between Georgiana and Charles Grey. 
Just to be clear, this movie is not a love story; it is more of a hate story, focusing on the relationship between Georginia and her husband. So if you want a love story, consider checking out McNaught’s novels. (See my post script below).
Recommended for those who enjoy period pieces, who can tolerate British accents and unhappy endings, and who don’t mind experiencing the sudden urge to strangle Ralph Fiennes. 
If you have seen this film, I would love to hear your thoughts!
L@H
P.S. For those interested in Judith McNaught’s novels... My absolute favorites are:
Whitney, My Love
Something Wonderful
Until You
Once and Always

A Kingdom of Dreams

I think I’ve read most of these books three, if not four times. Be forewarned: McNaught's stories just might take over your whole existence. I haven’t read any of her books in years, because for me they are so transporting, so engaging, that whenever I’m in the midst of one, I seldom accomplish anything else! The Husband doesn’t really like this, and I can only imagine that The Bear and The Doodles would feel the same... If you are a JM fan, I would love to hear from you! For more information check out a fan’s website: McNaughtized.com